- January 25, 2015
This past weekend we had a great time at a fairy and pirate themed birthday party. Seeing as how we didn’t really have any fairy props (I didn’t think Roxy’s Elsa Frozen outfit would do), I found the cutest little wings and wand on Amazon. Roxy was so excited. She loved getting dressed up as a fairy and then kept asking me to lift her up. I think she thought that as a fairy she was supposed to be up high. We had tea at the party, and then the kids went hunting for treasure and found a box of chocolate gold coins. They also dug up pixie dust, blew some bubbles, and played on the playground equipment. Roxy loved being a fairy so much, I think once in awhile when she’s good, I’ll let her be a fairy for a day again. You’re only young once.
I’m gathering ideas for Roxy’s 3rd birthday. But we’re not really doing a big party this year. Last year everyone came just to meet Roxy. While it’s pretty cliche, I think a Frozen party is inevitable. It’s easy for me to find props and decorations and all of Roxy’s girlfriends already have Elsa outfits.
Now onto a different subject. I was hanging out with a good friend and she remarked to me, “You seem different.” I knew instantly that her remark had nothing to do with my appearance or what I was wearing. My response was casual. “Do I? I guess I have been different.” She asked me what was going on. My answer was succinct. “Plain and simple? We have Roxy now. I don’t have time for bs. I’ve re-prioritized my life. I’ve changed the way I relate to a lot of people in my life. I don’t make time for interactions that seem meaningless or people who don’t seem to have me or my family’s best interests at heart. We don’t do a lot of the things we used to do before Roxy. And we live our lives exactly how we want to live them.” She wanted to know if something bad had happened. I told her, that there wasn’t any one incident or person or thing that triggered changes in the way that I and my family relate to people. But it was the result of careful observations, documented experiences,and certain inevitable happenings over the course of 2014. I also felt that in the past I had let other people’s opinions of me start to affect me. I put a stop to that and I realized I could choose to change many things about my life and our family. So I talked to Kenny in the Fall of 2014, and we prayed and put things in motion.
And the truth is, that all of these changes have been a long time coming. I mean we were married for 4 years and then we adopted a daughter and there was suddenly a little person that we needed to love and nurture and make sure adjusted well to our family. I used to force myself to go to gatherings that didn’t lift me up as an individual or caused me stress simply to go. But I didn’t have time for that once Roxy came and it took so much out of me. You are forever tired as a Mom. True friendship and fellowship shouldn’t cause you stress or constantly weigh you down and I came to realize this over time. As I prayed for God to show me His plan for me and for our family, I quickly realized that he wanted us to handle some things differently and let go of somethings. The changes have been tangible. I have stopped going to some fellowships and gatherings which didn’t fulfill me and have taken a larger role in others, such as Bloom Faith-based Adoptive Moms Group. As I purposefully made changes in the way I relate to people, I noticed that the majority of our good friends stayed constant as always, while a few moved further out of my life and others took their place. It’s a part of a natural process of change I think. We are constantly evolving as people, as a family, and as Christians. I am a bit more selective now about who I spend my time with. Now, I only choose to arrange play dates with friends or hang out with people I meet, if I jive with their parenting style and or personality and if I really think that I, or my daughter, or our family will have a good time. I no longer go to gatherings merely out of obligation because I choose not to put myself in an uncomfortable situation. I have also taken up some things that suit my lifestyle now. I now mediate daily and have been learning Reiki, a healing art. Since I’ve only taken Reiki 1 and 2, I’m just a Reiki practitioner, not a Reiki Master yet.
I actually debated about whether to even post this on my blog. Why? There are people out there who say that Reiki is UnChristian. As a Christian, I was confused about why this was the case and decided to learn about it myself by enrolling in classes, with the intent of quitting if I found anything to be against God. What I found is that there is nothing about Reiki which causes me to question God or my faith. I found I liked learning about chakras and energies. I like the idea that we all have energy and can basically send each other good energy or healing energy. After my first Reiki treatment, I felt relaxed and calm. It was a different feeling than when you get a massage. But I liked the peace and serenity I got from it. I was not asked to discard any of my beliefs in God. In fact, I prayed both before and after my first treatment and always say a quick prayer before and after giving a Reiki treatment to anybody else.
As I was learning and pondering Reiki, I found this verse which spoke to me.
Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. John 14:12
Now we all know Jesus healed the sick and made the blind see. I’m not claiming I can do that or that people who practice Reiki can do that. But what if Reiki were used truly as a tool for me to draw near to God and to also serve others? What if we couldn’t heal instantly like Jesus, but we could heal others in a slower fashion, while as a Christian asking God for help? So I tried it. I’ve been learning Reiki techniques and I tell you the truth, Reiki has been helping to keep me grounded and served as a means for me to help others. There is no part where I have felt that I had to let go of my Christian beliefs in order to learn Reiki. I haven’t had to worship another God or seek out anything not walking in God’s white light.
God’s light shines on the righteous and unrighteous alike. Matthew 5:45
That light that God shines on this world, does shine on everyone. But not everybody uses it the same. Of course, there are people who will try to make something else out of what God intended. Anything that we do in this life, is subject to temptation and to misuse. You can give someone a pill of medicine, say an anti-biotic, and it may cure an illness or an infection. If the ailment is cured, the medicine is seen as a success. But there are those who will say that an anti-biotic does nothing. But it’s curious as to why so many are afraid to even try those solutions which could help to lift them up. I’m not saying Reiki is for everyone. I totally respect anybody who doesn’t believe it’s for them. But I ask to be respected as a Christian who is truly trying to do her best to help others. As a Christian, I can only look to myself and say, I am truly trying to be a steward of God’s good by learning Reiki and trying to use it to help others. Some Christians will always reject new methods of healing, while others will embrace it as a part of the path that God has given them to tread. You’ve gotta do what’s best for you and so will I.
Life has changed a lot from just over a year ago. We adopted Roxy from China. Roxy has slid into our lives like a glove and we love our feisty, happy, social little girl. We are a bit more guarded of our time and our family socializes mainly with those whose values, lifestyle, mannerisms, and character jive with ours. While we are still meeting new people, we feel our interactions with others now are richer and more fulfilling. We have made new friends and have also been continuing to spend time with our good friends. I am learning Reiki and have been practicing Reiki. I enjoying trying to pass on good energy to others and heal. I have been meditating. I have been calmer and quieter and I take comfort in our family’s normal routine. We’ve prioritized anything to do with our daughter Roxy as we should. We eat less carbs and plenty of lean proteins like chicken and healthy vegetables like kale. Some of our greatest family moments used to be eating out in restaurants and now we barely go out to eat. When we hang out with friends, it’s predictable. “So do you want to come over here, or should we go to your house? What should we pick up to eat?” I look forward to planning art projects and cooking projects that we can do as a family. Yes, I have changed. Yes, I am different than how I used to be. This is the new me and also the new version of our family. And I make no apologies. In fact, I thank God for them.
Dr. Jacqueline "Jax" Cheung grew up in Sacramento, California. She is a Christian Wife, Proud Mom, Major Foodie, Sacramento Native, Elk Grove Resident, Feminist, Adoption Advocate, Blogger, Freelance Writer, and Cat Lover. Jax is the owner of the award winning Jax Chronicles Blog & Adoption Ministry. She is also the Editor-In-Chief of the Elk Grove Tribune, and freelances for Sacramento4Kids, and many other publications. Jax is married to Dr. Kenneth Cheung (Kenny). Jax and Kenny live in Elk Grove, California and have 2 daughters named Roxy and Carissa, and 3 cats named Mochi, Miso, and Mango. To follow her journey please like her Jax Chronicles Facebook page, follow her Instagram @jaxchronicles, follow her Twitter @jaxchronicles, or check out Jax Chronicles Blog & Adoption ministry.